When correcting others is like assaulting them
When focusing on the sins of others, we set for ourselves the mission of correcting them. We see ourselves as called to help this poor, unfortunate one by pointing out their sins, and telling them how they can be a better person. We are not being critical, but helpful, we tell ourselves. “Don’t take offense”, we say, for “I am only trying to help you see your flaws, so you can become a better person. I am only pointing out your error because I love you, and as a caring person want what is best for you”.
In truth, the spirit of judgment is likely to be counterproductive, as our corrections can be like hitting the person, and our critical analysis of their behavior, or personality, or even their sins, can cause more damage than good. If we truly wish to help them, we will offer good and kind thoughts, speak with words of love and encouragement, and pray for them. We are not doing them a favor by serving as their self appointed therapist, passing judgement on their behavior, and correcting them as though we were an official, appointed by the court. Words of encouragement are far more likely to help the person, than negative and critical feedback.
Imaging the love of Christ is far more profitable for those we’d like to help, for when we live Christ, grace abounds. Others see the love we have for them, and are in turn drawn to that which we have. Only Christ can change the heart, lead the sinner to repentance, and bring about healing. We can be the agent of this transformation by allowing Christ’s love to shine through us, and by demonstrating His transformational grace by how we live, and how we love, and how we do not judge.
That said, there are certainly times when people need to be corrected for their own good. When these occasions arise, we must make sure the correction is given in the spirit of love, so the delivery does not get in the way of the message. Priests, parents, bosses, and sometimes, even friends, may be called upon to offer such counsel, but the spirit of love must always remain central to the message. It is the Holy Spirit Who gives us the power to live in Christ, and to love others. Only the grace of God can change hearts, and we must not allow our own critical spirit to hinder the work of the Holy Spirit, in others.
With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon
Saturday January 17, 2015 / January 4, 2015
32nd Week after Pentecost. Tone six.
Sviatki. Fast-free
Saturday before the Baptism of Our Lord and God and Saviour Jesus Christ
Forefeast of the Theophany.
Synaxis of the Seventy Apostles: James the Brother of the Lo’rd, Mark the Evangelist, Luke the Evangelist, Cleopas the Brother of Joseph the Betrothed, Symeon the son of Cleopas, Barnabas, Justus, Thaddeus, Ananias, Stephen the Archdeacon; Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, and Parmenas of the seven deacons; Timothy, Titus, Philemon, Onesimus, Epaphras, Archippus, Silas, Silvanus, Crescens, Crispus, Epenetus, Andronicus, Stachys, Amplias, Urban, Narcissus, Apelles, Aristobulus, Herodion, Agabus, Rurus, Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobus, Hermas, Linus, Gaius, Philologus, Lucius, Jason, Sosipater, Olympas, Tertius, Erastus, Quartus, Euodias, Onesiphorus, Clement, Sosthenes, Apollos, Tychicus, Epaphroditus, Carpus, Quadratus, Mark called John, Zenas, Aristarchus, Pudens, Trophimus, Mark, Artemas, Aquila, Fortunatus, and Achaicus; Dionysius Areopagite and Simeon Niger.
Venerable Theoctistus, abbot at Cucomo in Sicily (800).
Repose of St. Eustathius I (Eustace), archbishop of Serbia (1285).
New Hieromartyrs Alexander, Spephen and Philippe priests (1933).
New Hieromartyr Nicholas priest (1939).
New Hieromartyr Paul priest (1941).
Venerable Aquila, deacon of the Kiev Caves (14th c.).
Martyr Zosimas the Hermit and Martyr Athanasius the Commentarisius (superintendent of prisoners), anchorites of Cilicia (3rd-4th c.).
Martyrs Chrysantha and Euphemia.
Venerable Euthymius the New of Thessalonica, monk.
St. Gregory of Langres (539-540) (Gaul).
Martyrs Abbot Euthymius and Twelve Monks of Vatopedi Monastery, Mt. Athos (1285) (Greek).
New Martyr Onuphrius Manassias of Gabrovo and Hilandar Monastery, Mt. Athos (1818) (Greek).
The Ethiopian Eunuch of Queen Candace.
Venerable Fathers Evagre, Ilia the Deacon, and the Disciples of the Thirteen Syrian Fathers (6th. c.) (Georgia).
St. Symeon, metropolitan of Smolensk (1699).
Daily Scripture Readings
1 Thessalonians 5:14-23
14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. 15 See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.
Blessing and Admonition
23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Luke 18:2-8
2 saying: “There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. 3 Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ 4 And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, 5 yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’”
6 Then the Lord said, “Hear what the unjust judge said. 7 And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? 8 I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?”
Boy oh boy! We didn’t realize how much we would miss your morning offerings…until the “pause button” happened. Good lesson for us! Thank you so much for your morning offerings. Your labors bless us daily.
As always, you and the brotherhood remain in our prayers.
Much love, Seraphim and Eudokia.
How much I needed this correction!!
Prayers for your recovery. Greetings to Fr. Martin.
love,
m
Beloved Abba Tryphon,
I hope the daily scripture readings is a sign of your strength and not a rush to get back into working harder than you need because one our beloved others asked about it.
A few things- 1) my father in law who struggled with heart issues is now with us in the USA and seems to be doing okay. Thank you for your prayers for him so many years ago! His and Mama’s presence has been an immense joy in the life of my immediate family. Also, as small and meaningless as they may be, my prayers are and will be for your ongoing recovery. 2) I suspect (you know better than I) it is important to meet our physical needs so that our mental and spiritual needs (and those of others) can best be served. Hopefully, you are giving careful thought and prayer (as well as listening to your body) to how much you push your body during recovery. I hope I am not being heretical, or too bold, in saying that we exist in three inseparable parts (Mind, Body, Spirit) in the image of our creator by urging this. 3) You referenced much wisdom- assuming I know true wisdom- in what you wrote here. Judgmental actions- and this is up to the person receiving the criticism to decide regardless of the person’s true intent- often serve to sever the empathic connection between people and usually ends in destruction. The path to behavioral healing (i.e. virtuous living) rarely comes down the road of confrontation about behavior (sin included) or judgment. Most often, depending upon the context, true help/healing comes from the love and compassion of validation (i.e. given all that, it makes some sense that you would do- think- feel- such and such). This allows our fellow sinner to hear you and be open to considering alternative ways of being (thinking, feeling, acting), and be open to the witness or model that one provides silently in living, or through discussion. In the end, even if we held a head under water- we still cannot make them drink.
Perhaps, I am too bold in my assertions. If so, please forgive me and remove this submission. I was moved by this topic because it is a trap into which so many of us fall. perhaps, myself included in this! Judgment is not the peace that passes all understanding- it is not the peace that leads thousands to be saved- one may suspect it is an insidious aspect of pride. At the least, to my limited understanding.