Creating a domestic church
Creating a Christian home begins with the icon corner. The “bright corner” becomes the center for every domestic church, where the family devotions take place. This is also the family’s way of declaring to visitors that this is a Christian home, where Christ is the head. Because the father is a sort of domestic priest, it is important that he be the one who leads the entire family in prayer. To personalize this center of family devotion, each member of the family should have their own patron saint’s icon. And a wonderful practice from ancient times is to have a family icon painted so that all the patron saints, from the husband and wife, to the smallest child, are represented in the same icon.
The family should try as best they can to have dinner together every night of the week. Watching TV while eating dinner is a very bad idea, for the meal should be the time when the parents can talk to their children about school, or other activities. In these modern times there are almost always school or work related activities that don’t always allow everyone to be together for that all important family meal, but every effort should be made to make this happen as often as possible.
The blessing of the food, with the father or mother making the sign of the cross over the meal with their fingers together as they do when blessing oneself, should never be avoided. If we always say a blessing over our food at home and give thanks to God for all He has given us, we are more likely to do so when at school or in a restaurant.
Television and the overuse of the Internet are wreaking havoc on family life, so we must not allow these foreign invaders to replace Christ as head of our household. Bad habits are hard to overcome, so replacing these with communal time in the living room may be hard at first, but doing so is necessary for the basic foundation of any Christian home.
We must guard our homes from other invaders as well. Magazines and other reading material should be appropriate for the Christian home. If you’d not want your priest to see a magazine or book in your home, it shouldn’t be there in the first place. As well, music played in the home should also be uplifting and devoid of profanity and vulgarity.
Regular family meetings where everyone has an opportunity to talk about things and where the atmosphere is loving, open and safe, help create trust and a sense of security for everyone. It is natural for parents to argue on occasion, but this should never take place in front of children. They need to feel secure.
Boys need to see their fathers as icons of Christ in the home, demonstrating the biblical image of husband and father. Men need, for the sake of the children, to give witness to the importance of prayer and church attendance. Statistically, children whose father is a church goer are far more likely to remain churchgoers into adulthood. And, don’t leave spiritual instruction up to the wives. You men will be held accountable before God for your children.
Men should not let their wives do all the house cleaning and cooking. In an age where both husband and wife often need to hold down jobs in order to make ends meet, a woman’s work is not just household work. She should not have to come home from work and be expected to do all the housework and cooking by herself. Men need to teach their children by example to help around the house.
Children should be given a small allowance (according to age) so they can learn to manage money, and an important part of money managing is the tithe. The biblical command to give ten percent of one’s income back to God is almost never taught in the Orthodox Church, which is why so many clergy are given such meager salaries, and parishes have to hold church festivals. When we fail to tithe we are stealing from God, and children need to be taught from the youngest age, the importance of this truth. A child who tithes ten percent of his allowance will grow into adulthood as a tither.
These are basic suggestions for creating an Orthodox home. If you begin to implement these suggestions, the Lord will reward you with a family that stands strong, and children who will grow up as spiritually healthy Christians, grounded in biblical teachings and moral fortitude. Your grandchildren will, in return, be raised with the same biblical principles, and you will be the most blessed grandparents on your block!
With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon
Tuesday September 20, 2016 / September 7, 2016
14th Week after Pentecost. Tone four.
Forefeast of the Nativity of the Theotokos.
Martyr Sozon of Cilicia (304).
St. John, archbishop and wonderworker of Novgorod (1186).
Martyrdom of St. Macarius, archimandrite of Kanev (1678).
Venerable Macarius of Optina (1860).
New Hieromartyrs Peter and Michael priests, Alexander diacon (1918).
New Hieromartyr Priest John Maslovsky of Verkhne-Poltavka, Amur (1921).
New Hieromartyrs Eugine metropolitan of Gorky, Stephan priest and Hieromartyrs Eugine, Nicholas and Pakhomius, New Hieromartyrs Gregory, Basil priests, Hieromartyr Leo (1937).
Venerables Alexander Peresvet and Andrew Osliaby (1380).
Venerable Serapion of Spaso-Eleazar Monastery in Pskov (1480).
Apostles Evodus (Euodias) (66) and Onesiphorus (67) of the Seventy.
Martyr Eupsychius of Caesarea in Cappadocia (2nd c.).
Venerable Luke and St. Peter the Cappadocian, abbots of the monastery of the Deep Stream (10th c.).
St. Cassia (Cassiane) the Hymnographer (9th c.).
Venerable Cloud (Clodoald), abbot-founder of Nogent-sur-Seine near Paris (560) (Gaul).
Scripture Readings
2 Corinthians 12:20-13:2
20 For I fear lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you such as you do not wish; lest there be contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings, conceits, tumults; 21 lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced.
Coming with Authority
13 This will be the third time I am coming to you. “By the mouth of two or three witnesses every word shall be established.” 2 I have told you before, and foretell as if I were present the second time, and now being absent I write to those who have sinned before, and to all the rest, that if I come again I will not spare—
Mark 4:24-34
24 Then He said to them, “Take heed what you hear. With the same measure you use, it will be measured to you; and to you who hear, more will be given. 25 For whoever has, to him more will be given; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.”
The Parable of the Growing Seed
26 And He said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground, 27 and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, he himself does not know how. 28 For the earth yields crops by itself: first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head. 29 But when the grain ripens, immediately he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come.”
The Parable of the Mustard Seed
30 Then He said, “To what shall we liken the kingdom of God? Or with what parable shall we picture it? 31 It is like a mustard seed which, when it is sown on the ground, is smaller than all the seeds on earth; 32 but when it is sown, it grows up and becomes greater than all herbs, and shoots out large branches, so that the birds of the air may nest under its shade.”
Jesus’ Use of Parables
33 And with many such parables He spoke the word to them as they were able to hear it. 34 But without a parable He did not speak to them. And when they were alone, He explained all things to His disciples.