Crushing Codependency

It is not about the priest, but about the Great High Priest

We are all broken and in need of healing. None of us is beyond reproach, and many of us who are in leadership roles are just as broken as those who seek our help. The Church is the place where we can all be healed by Christ the Great Physician, and those who hold positions of authority within the Church, must guard their hearts, knowing that we will one day stand before the Great Throne of God, and give account for the souls of those who’ve sought our help. When people are hurting and seeking the help of their priests, they are particularly vulnerable. It is for this reason that the Church has lines of authority through her appointed bishops, to hold her priests accountable.

No priest should ever place himself in a position of being the sole authority over the lives of his parishioners, and no priest should ever demand absolute loyalty to himself, lest his people become so vulnerable in their codependency, that they are unable to remain strong in the faith, should their priest either fail them, disappoint them, or even die. The strength of our hierarchical form of church governance is found in the fact that no Orthodox Christian is dependent on any one charismatic leader, but is rather supported in their journey by the strength and unity of the Church herself. Many a protestant mega-church pastor has been responsible for the loss of people’s faith, precisely because he demanded total submission and loyalty to himself, rather than helping his people to mature in such a way that their spiritual progress happens in spite of his own insecurities and shortcomings.

No parishioner should ever be made to feel their love and loyalty to their priest is compromised by their seeking out the spiritual support of another priest, or even moving to another parish that would better suit their needs. It is not about the charismatic leader of one local parish, as is common among Evangelical denominations, but about the unity of the Church headed by Christ, the Great High Priest, Whose priesthood is shared by every priest. If a person is better served by another confessor, glory to God!

The priest who acts in a defensive posture when a parishioner decides to change parishes, betrays his vocation, for it is not about their waning loyalty to him, but about their loyalty to Christ. We priests should rejoice that our exiting parishioner is still loyal to Christ’s Church, and we abbots should rejoice that the exiting monk is not lost to Christ, and his monastic vocation, but remains strong in his commitment to Christ.

However hard it may be on our own self-worth as a priest, when we suffer the pain or humiliation of having a parishioner or monastic seek out another spiritual father, we must crush under foot the ego that would demand loyalty to ourselves, rather than promote the maturing Christian’s journey on the path to theosis. It is not about loyalty to me, but about the loyalty to the Saviour Whom I serve.

With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon

Photo: I’m visiting my old friends, Father Bobby and Brother Peter, of the Capuchan-Franciscan  House of Studies in Berkeley, CA. Father Bobby is director of students, and Brother Peter is the Guardian (superior) of the community. We’ve been friends for over thirty-two years.

Tuesday November 1, 2016 / October 19, 2016
20th Week after Pentecost. Tone two.

Prophet Joel (800 B.C.).
Martyr Warus and seven monk-martyrs in Egypt (307).
Translation of the relics (1195) of Venerable John, abbot of Rila in Bulgaria (946).
St. Gabriel, abbot of St. Elias Skete, Mt. Athos (1901).
Righteous John, Wonderworker of Kronstadt (1908).
New Martyr Priest Alexis (Stavrovsky) of Petrograd (1918).
New Hieromartyr Sergius priest (1937).
Blessed Cleopatra (327) and her son John, in Egypt.
Hieromartyr Sadoc (Sadoth), bishop of Persia, and 128 Martyrs with him (342).
Crown Prince Demetrius of Moscow (1582).
Venerable Leontius the Philosopher of St. Sabbas monastery (624).
St. Prochorus, miracle-worker of Pchinja (Serbia) (10th c.).
Venerable Frideswide of Oxford, abbess (ca. 735) (Celtic & British).
St. Mnason, bishop of Cyprus (1st c.) (Cypriote).
New Monk-martyr Nicholas Dvali of Jerusalem (1314).
Hieromartyr Felix and Deacon Eusebius (Greek).

Scripture Readings

Philippians 2:16-23

16 holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

17 Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. 18 For the same reason you also be glad and rejoice with me.

Timothy Commended

19 But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. 20 For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state. 21 For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. 22 But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel. 23 Therefore I hope to send him at once, as soon as I see how it goes with me.

Luke 9:23-27

Take Up the Cross and Follow Him

23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.24 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. 25 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? 26 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels. 27 But I tell you truly, there are some standing here who shall not taste death till they see the kingdom of God.”