Facing our own mortality prepares us for when we will be standing before the Judgement Throne of God
My heart condition has forced my own mortality to the forefront for perhaps the first time in my life. At seventy-five I am no spring chicken, as the saying goes, but facing heart problems has made me realize I needed to be prepared for my own inevitable demise. The clock is ticking for all of us, but it is once you have an illness that many of us hear it for the first time.
A doctor friend made the observation that the greatest hazard to our life is conception, because it is a death sentence. From the moment we are born we begin to die. The best way to approach the inevitability of our own death is to face it head on, yet our culture fears death, avoids the thought of death, and masks it when it does happen.
My best friend in college died many years ago. Although he had converted to Orthodoxy, his family had him cremated, so there was no final kiss, no burial, no closure. Following the funeral in the parish church his priest and I joined his family and friends at an art gallery, where his work was often featured. While mingling with his wife, son and their friends, I happened upon a small box sitting on a pillar meant for a sculpture. Looking closely I saw decoupaged photos of my friend’s life. Among them was a photo of the two of us taken back in the 60’s, during our college days. Looking around to make sure no one was looking, I lifted the box in order to take a closer look at the photo. Instantly I knew it was my friend’s ashes, given the weight of the box. Laughing to myself, I knew my friend would have been amused at the site of me discovering I was holding his remains in this small box.
Since my friend was not responsible for the cremation, an Orthodox service was allowed. His priest and I had a long discussion about the American way of death, how we send our dying family members off to hospitals or hospices, keeping the unpleasantness of death out of sight. We fear death, so avoid looking at it. Cremation is a convenient way of denying the reality of death because there is no body. Yet we Orthodox know that a burial service with an open coffin and graveside service are of benefit to friends and family because the whole process helps with closure.
Lowering the casket into the ground while everyone is there and allowing each person to drop a handful of earth into the grave, is a wonderful way of walking ourselves through the grief process. Whereas, denying the reality of death by hiding it from our consciousness only promotes a longer period of bereavement.
I have chosen the site of my own burial on the grounds of the monastery and plan to have a simple pine box built while I can still look at it. Setting it up in a corner of my cabin would allow me to use it as a storage space before my death. I once heard of a man who used his pre-need coffin as a wine rack.
Facing our own mortality better prepares us for that moment when we will be standing before God, accounting for our life. I’m not in a hurry mind you, and I’m praying God will give me many years more for repentance. However, it is good that we think about our own death, for avoidance will not prolong our life, but it can make us put off true repentance.
With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon
Sunday January 31, 2021 / January 18, 2021
34th Sunday after Pentecost. Tone one.
St. Athanasius the Great (373) and St. Cyril (444), archbishops of Alexandria.
Venerable Cyril, schemamonk, and Venerable Maria, schemanun (1337) (parents of St. Sergius of Radonezh).
New Hieromartyr Michael priest (1919).
New Hieromartyr Eugene priest (1930).
New Hieromartyrs Vladimir, Nicholas, Sergius Alexander priests (1938).
Venerable Athanasius, abbot of Syanzhema (Valaam) (1550).
Venerable Athanasius of Novolok, monk (16th-17th c.).
Venerable Marcian of Cyrrhus in Syria, monk (ca. 303).
Martyr Xenia.
St. Maximus of Serbia, metropolitan (1516) (Serbia).
Venerable Silvanus, of Palestine, monk.
St. Leobardus of Marmoutier (6th c.) (Gaul).
Martyr Theodula and her companions Helladius, Boethius, Evagrius and Macarius of Anazarbus in Cilicia, (304).
St. Ephraim the Lesser, the Philosopher (1101) (Georgia).
Venerable Hieromonk Alexi (Shushania) of Teklati (1923) (Georgia).
St. Joachim, patriarch of Turnovo (1235).
St. Ninnidh of Inismacsaint (6th c.) (Celtic & British).
The Scripture Readings
Matthew 28:16-20
The Great Commission
16 Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.
18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.
Colossians 3:12-16
Character of the New Man
12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
Luke 18:18-27
Jesus Counsels the Rich Young Ruler
18 Now a certain ruler asked Him, saying, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”
19 So Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God.20 You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ ”
21 And he said, “All these things I have kept from my youth.”
22 So when Jesus heard these things, He said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
23 But when he heard this, he became very sorrowful, for he was very rich.
With God All Things Are Possible
24 And when Jesus saw that he became very sorrowful, He said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God! 25 For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
26 And those who heard it said, “Who then can be saved?”
27 But He said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.”
Hebrews 13:7-16
Concluding Religious Directions
7 Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follows, considering the outcome of their conduct. 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 9 Do not be carried about with various and strange doctrines. For it is good that the heart be established by grace, not with foods which have not profited those who have been occupied with them.
10 We have an altar from which those who serve the tabernacle have no right to eat. 11 For the bodies of those animals, whose blood is brought into the sanctuary by the high priest for sin, are burned outside the camp. 12 Therefore Jesus also, that He might sanctify the people with His own blood, suffered outside the gate. 13 Therefore let us go forth to Him, outside the camp, bearing His reproach. 14 For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. 15 Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name. 16 But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
Matthew 5:14-19
14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
Christ Fulfills the Law
17 “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. 18 For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled. 19 Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
Thank You! My youngest Son,Owen ,Has only recently died and is to be cremated and thi has helped me a lot!
Peter
Oh Peter. My heart goes out to you and your family for the loss of your son, Owen. May the Lord strengthen and comfort you during this period of mourning, and may Owen’s memory be eternal.
Your instructive post today reminded me of a quote attributed to C. S. Lewis in which he wrote: “The cure for death is dying.” Of course Professor Lewis meant that since our Lord conquered death for all time, by shedding our earthly shell we begin to experience our next progression of God’s eternal light.
In John 8:51, Jesus Himself reminds us, “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, if a man keep my word, he shall never see death.”
I once quipped to friends at church that a perfect summary of Christianity could be made with only three words: Jesus Killed Death. (May God forgive my presumption of His eternal plan.)
Blessings to you, Abbot, and all the brothers on Vashon Island! My wife and I already have our full-body internment site reserved in a local cemetery reserved for veterans here in South Carolina.
Our daughter, Elizabeth Anne died a little over a year ago. She was Orthodox and we had an Orthodox funeral for her.The funeral service was beautiful and was helpful to us and to her brother.Her death has helped us to face our own mortality.
May Elizabeth Anne’s memory be eternal.
Memento Mori. When I was younger I thought it was just a “cool saying,” but having watched someone I love leave this life (and being at the “halfway mark”-over 40) has made it all the more real. Thank you for this message, especially in these days where the fear of death has overwhelmed so many.
PS. Today is the Feast of St. Tryphon on the Revised Julian. Is it your Name Day? If so (and even if not), Many Years! May the Saint bless you and us all.
No, I’m named after Saint Tryphon of Vyatka, commemorated on the 21st of October.
well, with a sobering subject like the one today about all of us facing the inevitable, at least your sense of humor prevailed in telling us about a friend who used his coffin to be as a wine rack……..I want to leave this planet with a lot of laughter, not sadness….
the Irish do have the right idea about having a wake, and celebrating the deceased’s life to the fullest……..and God will give you many more years amongst us to share your wisdom with your ‘Morning Offering ‘…….
Here’s to life……let’s make the most of it….
Walt
Dear Abbbot,
As a nurse I must offer a different view of patients being cared for in a hospital or even a hospice as death nears. In our society, unlike my family in Greece, few families have the number of members near by or the resources to care for a dying patient who is in pain or physical deterioration. I nursed my step mother in the hospital for a month as her stroke slowly took her life and dignity. It would have been impossible in a home setting without medical equipment we needed.
In another case I admitted a patient dying at home of pneumonia. Her family were horrified at her suffering as we were limited as to what we could do in a home setting. Allowing us to hospitalize her gave us the ability to administer iv morphine and ease her suffering.
During normal times a family is not restricted from visiting with and caring for a family member as much as they like. But those family members must also care for their own health so that they can fulfill their responsibilities. Those dying should be at home if they wish and have all the support services they require if possible. We must recognize it is not always possible or wise and support those who choose to give their dying ones the best for them even if it is institutional hospice or a hospital. They do not need guilt along with grief.
Respectfully,
LMA
Lynda,
thank you for sharing your experience and insights. Right now my mother is nearing her death. Her wish is to be at her home, which I understand and respect. She has two family members as caregivers, one of them being me. I took leave from work. I am doing all I can to keep her comfortable and feeling loved, but I am getting more and more drained emotionally by the day witnessing her deterioration. Plus I am dreading the day I will see the moment of her death, and feeling guilty because of that. I am sure my fear of death is at the centre of my anxiety. If I was the only caregiver available, I would have opted for the hospice for my mother (and yes, feeling guilty because of that thought, too).
Advice from anyone reading this will be appreciated.
Thank you.