The Best Way to Impart Criticism
“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” Frank A. Clark, writer (1911-).
When offering someone criticism it is important that we do so with kindness. Studies have shown that to counter one negative comment it takes ten positive comments. When we receive criticism from another, positive wording can make all the difference in how we respond to the correction. Children are especially vulnerable to harsh criticism and should be corrected in a loving, gentle way.
When a husband or wife are sharing their upset about a situation, if the tone of the voice is calm, the spouse can hear the criticism and respond to it, rather than the anger. Conversion rather than conformity, and inner transformation rather than external compliance, must be the goal. Showing respect to the person being corrected helps bring about change. Angry words delivered in a harsh tone prevent the receiver from hearing the criticism.
If you want an employee, spouse, or a child to change their behavior, you must make sure they understand the need for such change. Long term change can only come when the receiver of the criticism understands the benefit and is able to receive it for his own betterment. Anger hides the message, for the person hears only the anger.
How we communicate with others makes all the difference in the world. If we allow ourselves to be loving, gentle communicators, we in turn receive the respect and love of those around us. As we become happier, they become happier. What a wonderful world it would be if we all learned to communicate respect and love for others.
Love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon
Tuesday February 6, 2024 / January 24, 2024
36th Week after Pentecost. Tone two.
Venerable Xenia of Rome and her two female slaves (5th c.).
St. Xenia of Petersburg, fool-for-Christ (18th c.).
Martyr Nicholas (1918).
St. Gerasimus, bishop of Perm (1441).
Martyr John of Kazan (1529).
Martyrs Babylas of Sicily and his two disciples Timothy and Agapius (3rd c.).
Venerable Macedonius, hermit of Syria (ca. 420).
Translation of the relics (632) of St. Anastasius the Persian (628).
Venerable Dionysius of Olympus and Mt. Athos (1541) (Greek).
St. Felician, bishop of Foligno in Italy (254).
St. Lupicinus of Lipidiaco (500) (Gaul).
St. Neophytus the Recluse of Cyprus (1214) (Greek).
Martyrs Hermogenes and Mamas (Greek).
Martyrs Paul, Pausirius, and Theodotian, of Egypt (3rd c.).
St. Philo, bishop of Carpasia in Cyprus (5th c.).
The Priest Martyr Philippikos the Presbyter and Martyr Barsima of Syria and his two brothers.
Venerable Zosimas, bishop of Babylon in Egypt (6th c.).
The Scripture Readings
Matthew 11:27-30
27 All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father. Nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. 28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Ephesians 2:19-3:7
Christ Our Cornerstone
19 Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, 22 in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.
The Mystery Revealed
3 For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for you Gentiles— 2 if indeed you have heard of the dispensation of the grace of God which was given to me for you, 3 how that by revelation He made known to me the mystery (as I have briefly written already, 4 by which, when you read, you may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ), 5 which in other ages was not made known to the sons of men, as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to His holy apostles and prophets: 6 that the Gentiles should be fellow heirs, of the same body, and partakers of His promise in Christ through the gospel, 7 of which I became a minister according to the gift of the grace of God given to me by the effective working of His power.
Mark 11:11-23
11 And Jesus went into Jerusalem and into the temple. So when He had looked around at all things, as the hour was already late, He went out to Bethany with the twelve.
The Fig Tree Withered
12 Now the next day, when they had come out from Bethany, He was hungry. 13 And seeing from afar a fig tree having leaves, He went to see if perhaps He would find something on it. When He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs. 14 In response Jesus said to it, “Let no one eat fruit from you ever again.”
And His disciples heard it.
Jesus Cleanses the Temple
15 So they came to Jerusalem. Then Jesus went into the temple and began to drive out those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves. 16 And He would not allow anyone to carry wares through the temple. 17 Then He taught, saying to them, “Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations’? But you have made it a ‘den of thieves.’ ”
18 And the scribes and chief priests heard it and sought how they might destroy Him; for they feared Him, because all the people were astonished at His teaching. 19 When evening had come, He went out of the city.
The Lesson of the Withered Fig Tree
20 Now in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots. 21 And Peter, remembering, said to Him, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree which You cursed has withered away.”
22 So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. 23 Forassuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.
Galatians 5:22-6:2
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Bear and Share Burdens
6 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Luke 6:17-23
Jesus Heals a Great Multitude
17 And He came down with them and stood on a level place with a crowd of His disciples and a great multitude of people from all Judea and Jerusalem, and from the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon, who came to hear Him and be healed of their diseases, 18 as well as those who were tormented with unclean spirits. And they were healed. 19 And the whole multitude sought to touch Him, for power went out from Him and healed them all.
The Beatitudes
20 Then He lifted up His eyes toward His disciples, and said:
“Blessed are you poor,
For yours is the kingdom of God.
21 Blessed are you who hunger now,
For you shall be filled.
Blessed are you who weep now,
For you shall laugh.
22 Blessed are you when men hate you,
And when they exclude you,
And revile you, and cast out your name as evil,
For the Son of Man’s sake.
23 Rejoice in that day and leap for joy!
For indeed your reward is great in heaven,
For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets.