Desiring to experiencing the reality of God
Our experience of God can be many fold, with everything from witnessing the physical or spiritual healing of a friend, or witnessing the miraculous flowing of myrrh from an icon. I once witnessed a cross (about 12 inches long), held by a Coptic priest friend, literally pouring myrrh into a bucket. Miracles like this are not easily dismissed when we are watching it happen.
Perhaps the most impressive miracles I have witnessed, over my thirty-five years as a monk, have been witnessing the healing of peoples hearts. People previously focused on themselves, after encountering Christ, have been miraculously transformed into loving, caring, individuals who have become filled with the desire to serve others.
It is important to remember that our God did not create us as puppets, but rather as persons with the freedom to respond, or not, to His invitation to enter into communion with Him. Just as a loving dad, desiring to help his child take those first steps on his own, will let go of the child’s hands, as the mother reaches out from a few feet away, allow their child the freedom to move independently, taking their first step, so our God can withdraw our sense of His presence, that we might freely reach out to Him. This is because, just as the child is given freedom to make that first step, so we are given the opportunity to respond to God’s invitation, by our own free will.
We are able to experience the presence of God because of the freedom we’ve been granted by our loving Father, Who has reached out to us. We can experience the presence of God through a joyful and awesome encounter with Christ while participating in the celebration of the Divine Liturgy. We can experience God while making a good confession, and experiencing the outpouring of His grace upon us, sinners that we are. We can experience the presence of God while witnessing the wonder of discovery in the faces of visitors to our parishes, witnessing the beauty of Orthodox worship for the first time. We experience the presence of God while visiting the old woman who has walked with God for eighty some years. We experience the presence of the Lord when witnessing the giggle of a child, being hugged by his grandmother. We witness the love of God in the face of our confessor, and the fellowship of fellow believers. We experience God in the early hours of the morning, while saying our morning prayer rule.
We experience God in the sunrise, and in the sunset. We experience God in the freshly picked rose, or the lapping of the water while standing at the sea shore. We experience God as we taste the fresh corn from the stalk, or the first bite of our grandmother’s apple pie. We experience God in the purring sound of our cat, while holding him in our arms. Finally, we experience God in the solitude of our heart.
With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon
Photo: We welcome Monk Nicodemus, who has transferred, with the blessing of his superior, from Saint John of San Francisco Monastery in Manton, CA., to All-Merciful Saviour Monastery. Left to right: Monk Nicodemus, Hieromonk Paul, Abbot Tryphon, Monk Martin, and Monk Peter.
Wednesday December 13, 2017 / November 30, 2017
28th Week after Pentecost. Tone two.
Nativity (St. Philip’s Fast). Food with Oil
Holy and All-praised Apostle Andrew the First-called (62).
St. Elias, schemamonk of Valaam and Verkhoturye (1900).
New Hieromartyr John priest (1937).
St. Frumentius, archbishop of Abyssinia (380).
St. Tudwal, bishop in Wales and Brittany (6th c.) (Celtic & British ).
St. Alexander, bishop of Methymna on Lesbos (Greek).
Sts. Peter I (5th c.) and Samuel I (5-6th c.), Catholicoses of Georgia.
St. Vakhtang Gorgasali, King of Georgia (502).
The Scripture Readings
Matthew 4:18-23
Four Fishermen Called as Disciples
18 And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. 19 Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 20 They immediately left their nets and followed Him.
21 Going on from there, He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. He called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him.
Jesus Heals a Great Multitude
23 And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people.
2 Timothy 4:9-22
The Abandoned Apostle
9 Be diligent to come to me quickly; 10 for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica—Crescens for Galatia, Titus for Dalmatia. 11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry. 12 And Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus. 13 Bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas when you come—and the books, especially the parchments.
14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. 15 You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words.
16 At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.
The Lord Is Faithful
17 But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. 18 And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen!
Come Before Winter
19 Greet Prisca and Aquila, and the household of Onesiphorus. 20 Erastus stayed in Corinth, but Trophimus I have left in Miletus sick.
21 Do your utmost to come before winter.
Eubulus greets you, as well as Pudens, Linus, Claudia, and all the brethren.
Farewell
22 The Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Grace be with you. Amen.
Luke 20:1-8
Jesus’ Authority Questioned
20 Now it happened on one of those days, as He taught the people in the temple and preached the gospel, that the chief priests and the scribes, together with the elders, confronted Him 2 and spoke to Him, saying, “Tell us, by what authority are You doing these things? Or who is he who gave You this authority?”
3 But He answered and said to them, “I also will ask you one thing, and answer Me: 4 The baptism of John—was it from heaven or from men?”
5 And they reasoned among themselves, saying, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ He will say, ‘Why then did you not believe him?’ 6 But if we say, ‘From men,’ all the people will stone us, for they are persuaded that John was a prophet.” 7 So they answered that they did not know where it was from.
8 And Jesus said to them, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things.”
Father, what you write sounds beautiful to me. I wish it had some bearing on my experience. I have several times been in the presence of a wonder-working icon of the Mother of God; one was even a famous myrrh-streamer: I remember these times mostly for how cold and unfeeling my heart was in those moments. I don’t know what a good confession looks like, nor do I know what it is like to experience the outpouring of grace upon us sinners. Usually I prepare for confession with what I think is great contrition of heart and I look forward to the easing of my burden, only to get there and the whole thing is rather like a bland recitation of a prepared text, like I am fraudulently acting out somebody else’s part, and I leave desperately hoping that something actually happened to me while I wasn’t looking, and feeling rather foolish and ashamed for my lack of sincerity. Is that what grace feels like? Is it supposed to feel so awful? When I receive communion, I am mostly thinking that I hope my kids are not taking the opportunity of my attention being elsewhere for 5 seconds to knock over an icon stand or an oil lamp; at best I am thinking of how awkward the physical position is to receive. I don’t remember ever having any spiritual experiences while receiving or even being conscious of the presence of God at all. And far from being ineffably bedewed, after receiving communion, like clockwork, I sin worse than when I don’t. When I pray, that is when I am not distracted by irritation or something else, the only thing I experience is the absence of God, or rather the great gulf of my absence from Him, and my own sinfulness. As a rule, the more I try, the worse I am. It is excruciating and I must confess that I usually feel like giving up. But like the disciples said to Christ, to whom shall I go? There is nowhere else for me to go: there is only the Christ I cannot reach or a terrifying black abyss on all sides. And so I keep trying, stubbing my toes and tripping and skinning my knees every 5 seconds because I can’t walk without falling.
Now you’ll probably tell me I’m doing it all wrong, and all I have to say is “Don’t I know it….” I just can’t figure out what doing it right looks like. Please pray for me.