The difference between the two words is significant
Although these two words have been considered to be synonyms, there is actually a major difference between the meanings, as interpreted by our Orthodox faith. Sympathy, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is “The feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else’s trouble, grief, misfortune, etc., is a sympathetic feeling”. Whereas The Oxford Dictionary says, “Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune is empathy. A noteworthy distinction is that empathy originates from the head and focuses on the problem, whereas sympathy comes from the heart and focuses on people.
The Scriptures give a clear distinction between the two words in the story of Job. When Job’s three friends learned of his plight, they came “to show him sympathy and comfort him” (v2:11). However, after a while, they shifted from expressing sympathy to empathy. It is at the point we discover that Job’s friends did more to hurt him than to help him. In their failed attempts to understand and make it better they assumed the accusations and allegations, to be true, when in fact none of them were correct. Job even referred to his friends as “miserable comforters” (Job 16:2).
As a long time law enforcement and fire chaplain, I have experienced numerous times when sympathy for the suffering person was needed. Sympathy does not require any kind of “professional” attention, such as a therapist or psychologist might provide.
All that is required is a sympathetic ear, and a willingness to listen to the person suffering stress and loss. What the psychologist might offer in long term therapy, the sympathetic friend or chaplain, offers in a hug, and a willingness to listen. Consoling the person suffering loss and grief does not require professional training, such as a psychologist might have, but simply a willingness to be Christ in the midst of suffering.
A chaplain or Christian response team can in no way be prepared for what they might find when entering a crisis situation. What they will find, however, is suffering individuals who don’t expect us to fix the problem, but simply to hear to their expression of sorrow, and be willing to listen to their pain.
Healing and rebuilding takes time, but the sympathetic ear of a Christian offers spiritual encouragement and prayer in an effort to nourish souls, offer hope, and make a lasting difference.
With love and blessings,
Abbot Tryphon
Monday September 21, 2020 / September 8, 2020
16th Week after Pentecost. Tone six.
The Nativity of Our Most Holy Lady the Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary.
New Martyr Demetrius, priest (1937).
St. Ioane (Maisuradze) (1957) and St. Giorgi-Ioane (Mkheidze), (1960), confessors, of Georgia (Georgia).
New Martyr Alexander Jacobson at Solovki (1930).
Icon of Sophia, the Wisdom of God (Kiev).
Venerable Icons of the Nativity of Most Holy Mother of God Syamsk(1524), Glinsk (16th C), Lukianovsk (16th C), Isaacovsk (1659), Kholmsk, Kursk “Sign” Icon (1259), Pochaev (1559), Lesninsk, Domnitsk (1696).
Venerable Serapion, monk, of Spaso-Eleazar Monastery (Pskov) (1480).
Venerable Lucian, abbot of Alexandrov (1654).
Venerable Arsenius, abbot of Konevits (1447).
King Ina of Wessex and Queen Ethelburga (8th c.) (Celtic & British).
New Martyr Athanasius of Thessalonica (1774) (Greek).
St. Sophronius of Achtalea in Georgia, bishop (1803) (Greek).
Martyrs Rufus and Rufianus (Greek)
Martyrs Severus and Artemidorus (Greek)
St. Kinemark, disciple of St. Dyfrig.
Translation of the relics of St. Grimald, abbot of Winchester.
The Scripture Readings
Luke 1:39-49
Mary Visits Elizabeth
39 Now Mary arose in those days and went into the hill country with haste, to a city of Judah, 40 and entered the house of Zacharias and greeted Elizabeth. 41 And it happened, when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, that the babe leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. 42 Then she spoke out with a loud voice and said, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 43 But why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 For indeed, as soon as the voice of your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy. 45 Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”
The Song of Mary
46 And Mary said:
“My soul magnifies the Lord,
47 And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.
48 For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant;
For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed.
49 For He who is mighty has done great things for me,
And holy is His name.
Luke 1:56
56 And Mary remained with her about three months, and returned to her house.
Philippians 2:5-11
The Humbled and Exalted Christ
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Luke 10:38-42
Mary and Martha Worship and Serve
38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”
41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 11:27-28
Keeping the Word
27 And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!”
28 But He said, “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”
This brings to mind the difference between empathy and sympathy being illustrated by two fellow travelers on a cruise ship who encountered a person suffering from sea sickness. The one with empathy joined the ill person and threw up right with him whereas the one who showed sympathy, put his arm around the other’s shoulder and said “I understand how you feel. I hope things improve for you soon.”
As an Air Police Sgt in the USA my husband had a great deal of disapproval for so much of modern civilian police procedure that stemmed from being in the deep south that he refused to become a civilian policeman after he retired from the military. He learned great empathy from the effects of black lives he met in 79 years of life on 3 continents. But he had no sympathy for the stupidity and thoughtlessness of the misuse of lower level police weaponry. I’m just saying, y’all. Miss Mike.
As Fr. Will’s comment illustrates, I think most people use ‘sympathy’ to mean ‘from the head’ and ’empathy’ to mean ‘from the heart’ rather than the other way round. I first learned the word ’empathy’ as an adolescent from a science-fiction novel where ’empaths’ were people who somehow psychically experienced directly what other people were going through; this made them into almost Christ-like figures in the story. That sympathy is higher than empathy because it focusses on the person rather than the feeling is something I had not previously considered.
Whatever one calls it, I am sure that Fr. Tryphon offers the first responders a Christ-like co-suffering love that transcends the self and focusses on the person.