The Institution of Marriage

The essential element for the salvific union of two people

The western world has seen a terrible downward trend in the number of couples choosing to get married. Of those couples who do, almost fifty percent of their marriages end in divorce. Those marriages that do last, see only a tiny fraction produce more than one or two children. Many couples choose to limit the number of children, or have no children at all, because they want a more economically satisfying life and see children as an obstacle to a comfortable lifestyle. This is in absolute opposition to the views held by our ancestors.

Seattle has been designated as one of the loneliest cities in the United States, and many believe this is directly related to the fact that this great city has the lowest number of children outside of San Francisco. Since couples who have children tend to get involved in local schools and churches, in their desire to support their children, couples without children have fewer options, from the start, where they can cultivate friendships with other couples.

If the social life of a couple is centered around the workplace, or the nightlife, a major source of support for marriage is undermined. Bars, nightclubs, and the workplace, hardly cultivate the support of marriages. Whereas, involvement with other committed parents in the Parent Teacher Student Association, and active participation in parishes, bring people together for the common good of children. These two institutions have a long history of supporting couples in committed relationships.

The central problem to the institution of marriage is directly related to an increasingly secularized society that does not value the traditional, biblical way of life. Couples, at an alarming rate, start out their relationships in an intimate manner. Sexual intercourse before marriage is seen as an essential component of their relationship. The idea of saving themselves for the marriage bed, seems old fashioned, and outdated.

Living together before marriage dooms the relationship from the beginning because both the man and the woman are focusing on their own needs, to the exclusion of the “union”. Such relationships are based on personal needs and not on the biblical basis for marriage, where procreation is one of the essential components that binds the couple in a love relationship that is other focused.

This approach to coupling is responsible for the declining populations of Western countries, where only Islamic marriages are producing the number of children that will guarantee the cultural survival of future generations. Western Civilization is dying out as a direct result of this sociological and religious departure from the biblical image of marriage.

The Church’s opposition to non-traditional marriage is not about discrimination against gay people. We are not called to judge others, but called to judge only ourselves. We must recognize the daily struggles that are filled with anguish, loneliness, suffering, and self-hatred, for our gay brothers and sisters. As Christians we need to love and support them in their struggles as fellow Christians, to live chaste lives. Many gay people leave the Church because they feel judged, excluded, marginalized, even hated, by their fellow Christians.

It is important to remember that heterosexual Christians are also called to live biblical based, chaste lives, outside marriage. Marriage is not about human rights but about the bringing together of man and woman for the God sanctioned propagation of our species. God gives us sufficient grace to live virtuous lives, and we Orthodox Christians know that salvation is not about ourselves alone, but about all of us together. A loving and supportive Christian community supports all of us on our journey into God’s kingdom.

Finally, the key element that makes marriage salvific, is the surrendering of self-will for the common good. The husband and wife, at the very moment the wedding crowns are placed on their heads, should be committed to being obedient to one another. The husband, although head of the household, is not his wife’s boss, or overlord. Rather, the archetype for the husband is that of Christ as the Great Bridegroom. The symbol of the crowns is not about a young prince and princess, but symbolic of the crowns of martyrdom, where the wife and husband surrender their self-will, to one another.

The couple who will experience and enjoy a long life together, are the couple whose marriage is centered in Christ, and the give and take that comes from a commitment to the welfare of each other. Just as Christ surrendered His life for the love of His Church, so the husband and wife surrender their lives to one another.

With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon

Photo: Ryan and Heather Weaver and their wonderful children, who recently visited from Stone Mountain, Georgia.

Friday November 27, 2020 / November 14, 2020
25th Week after Pentecost. Tone seven.
Fast. Food with Oil
Holy and All-praised Apostle Philip (1st c.).
New Hieromartyrs Demetrius, Alexander, Victor, Alexis, Michael, Michael, Theodore, Peter, Alexis, Sergius, Nicholas, Basil, Alexander, Nicholas, Demetrius, Demetrius, Porphirius, Basil, George, Basil, Sergius priests, Nicholas deacon, New Hieromartyr Aristrah, Martyr Gabriel and Virgin-martyr Anna (1937).
New Hieromartyr Theodore priest (1940).
New Hieromartyr Sergius priest (1941).
Venerable Philip, abbot of Irap near Novgorod (1527).
St. Justinian the Emperor of Byzantium (565) and his wife St. Theodora (548).
St. Gregory Palamas, archbishop of Thessalonica (1360).
New Martyr Constantine of Hydra (Mt. Athos) (1800) (Greek).
St. Dyfrig (Dubricius), bishop in Hereford and Gwent, hermit of Bardsey Island (ca. 550) (Celtic & British).
St. Malo (Machulus) of Brittany (7th c.) (Celtic & British).
New Martyr Panteleimon the Youth of Asia Minor (Greek).
St. Alberik, bishop of Utrecht (784) (Neth.).
Repose of St. Alexander Nevsky (Alexis in monasticism) (1263).

The Scripture Readings

John 21:15-25

Jesus Restores Peter

15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?”

He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”

He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”

16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”

He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”

He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”

17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?”

And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”

Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep. 18 Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.”19 This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me.”

The Beloved Disciple and His Book

20 Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” 21 Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, “But Lord, what about this man?”

22 Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”

23 Then this saying went out among the brethren that this disciple would not die. Yet Jesus did not say to him that he would not die, but, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you?”

24 This is the disciple who testifies of these things, and wrote these things; and we know that his testimony is true.

25 And there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Amen.

2 Thessalonians 3:6-18

Warning Against Idleness

6 But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us. 7 For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you; 8 nor did we eat anyone’s bread free of charge, but worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, 9 not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us.

10 For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. 11 For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.

13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. 14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this [d]epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

Benediction

16 Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all.

17 The salutation of Paul with my own hand, which is a sign in every epistle; so I write.

18 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

Luke 13:31-35

31 On that very day some Pharisees came, saying to Him, “Get out and depart from here, for Herod wants to kill You.”

32 And He said to them, “Go, tell that fox, ‘Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I shall be perfected.’ 33 Nevertheless I must journey today, tomorrow, and the day following; for it cannot be that a prophet should perish outside of Jerusalem.

Jesus Laments over Jerusalem

34 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing! 35 See! Your house is left to you desolate; and assuredly, I say to you, you shall not see Me until the time comes when you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’ ”

1 Corinthians 4:9-16

9 For I think that God has displayed us, the apostles, last, as men condemned to death; for we have been made a spectacle to the world, both to angels and to men. 10 We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are distinguished, but we are dishonored! 11 To the present hour we both hunger and thirst, and we are poorly clothed, and beaten, and homeless. 12 And we labor, working with our own hands. Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure; 13 being defamed, we entreat. We have been made as the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things until now.

Paul’s Paternal Care

14 I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children I warn you. 15 For though you might have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet you do not have many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. 16 Therefore I urge you, imitate me.

John 1:43-51

Philip and Nathanael

43 The following day Jesus wanted to go to Galilee, and He found Philip and said to him, “Follow Me.” 44 Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. 45 Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found Him of whom Moses in the law, and also the prophets, wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”

46 And Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”

Philip said to him, “Come and see.”

47 Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward Him, and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit!”

48 Nathanael said to Him, “How do You know me?”

Jesus answered and said to him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.”

49 Nathanael answered and said to Him, “Rabbi, You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!”

50 Jesus answered and said to him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you under the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these.” 51 And He said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, hereafter you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.”